


Bros Helping Bros

by whatstheproblembaby



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack Fic, Hallucinations, M/M, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2142960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatstheproblembaby/pseuds/whatstheproblembaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vaguely cracky fic inspired by the events of 5x07. Blaine dozes off in the choir room and awakes to some very strange occurrences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bros Helping Bros

“Crap crap crap crap,” Blaine chanted under his breath as he hustled for the choir room, bag smacking his leg rhythmically. He had accidentally pulled an all-nighter on Skype with Kurt, thus disrupting his morning routine and making him run a little late all morning.

 _I wish I’d had time for coffee,_ he thought mournfully, stifling a yawn as he skidded to a stop inside the choir room seconds before the late bell rang. Unfortunately, he wasn’t early enough to get a good seat; the only space left was in the corner by the air vent. Sam shot him an apologetic glance from his seat between Jake and Ryder, but Blaine waved to him that it was okay as he sat down.

“Coach Sylvester said she fixed this, right?” Blaine asked the room in general, but everyone else was absorbed in conversations and didn’t hear him. The boys were all debating which superhero movie should be made next (Jake and Ryder on Team DC, while Sam and Artie pushed for a Hawkeye/Black Widow flick), and the girls were crowded around Unique’s copy of the newest _Seventeen_ and rating manicure ideas. “Thanks for the help, guys.”

Blaine wanted to join in the boys’ discussion – a Hawkeye/Widow movie would be _awesome,_ what were Jake and Ryder smoking? - but the thought of his impending Chem test made him sigh in disappointment and haul out his notes. He fell into a ion-induced daze as he studied and lost track of time, even though a small voice in the back of his brain noted that Mr. Schue was taking an awfully long time to get practice started.

“Hey! Dude, wake up!” Jake’s voice blasted into his consciousness. Blaine sat bolt upright, knocking his binder off his lap. He noted that somehow practice was over and the only people left in the room were himself, Jake, and Ryder. The other two boys were standing in front of his chair, arms crossed over their chests in mirror images.

“Oh my God, did I zone out for all of Glee? I’m so sorry, I’m not trying to be a diva-” Blaine said, all in one breath. Ryder just laughed.

“Bro, we know,” he said. “Chill. Mr. Schue never came, so we decided to just leave, but then Jake and I noticed you were zonked out over here and thought we should probably wake you up.” The look he gave Jake when he said their names make something in Blaine’s mind ding with curiosity.

“Well, thanks, guys,” Blaine said, stretching his arms above his head to loosen his muscles. He caught sight of his watch as he did, which prompted another question. “Wait, isn’t it like the end of the period, though? You guys didn’t have anything better to do than watch me sleep?”

“We kept ourselves occupied,” Jake told him, looking furtively over at Ryder. “We, uh, actually wanted to catch you alone, if you’re not busy.”

“I only have study hall next, I can skip,” Blaine said. He was always willing to help people, and something about the looks Jake and Ryder had on their faces made him feel like this was actually pretty serious. Jake seemed anxious, while Ryder looked stuck between fear and…bliss? “What’s up?”

Ryder and Jake looked silently at each other for a moment before Ryder spoke. “So, you know that for a while I’ve been saying I want to date Marley.”

“Yeeeah,” Blaine said, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion. “I think the whole school knows that, actually.”

“And that I’ve been going to Ryder for advice on how to make Marley happy,” Jake continued as if Blaine had never spoken.

“Wait, you’re not going to ask me for threesome advice or something, are you?” Blaine broke in, holding up his hands warningly. “Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m kinky!”

“No, dude, if we wanted sex tips we’d go to Artie,” Ryder said, which didn’t help Blaine’s confusion. In fact, he kind of felt his brain trying to burst out of his skull to avoid that idea. “What I’m trying to say is, I kinda realized that I don’t want to date Marley.”

“Okay?” Blaine said. “Still not seeing why you needed to talk to me, here.”

“It’s getting there,” Jake told him. He dragged over a couple of chairs, passing one to Ryder before turning his own backwards and plopping down. Blaine lowered his head gratefully, absently rubbing his neck above the collar of his polo. “Sorry, I just thought we’d better get comfy before this got much heavier. Anyways, I realized that I wasn’t really looking for help with my love life when I wanted to talk to Ryder. I just kind of…wanted to talk to him. Be around him. And then there was Valentine’s Day…”

“Go on,” Blaine said, realizing they needed prompting to continue.

“Well, I told him to re-enact that really romantic scene from _Ghost_ with the pottery,” Ryder said. “You know the one?” Blaine nodded.

“So I did,” Jake seamlessly took over the dialogue. “But I wasn’t focusing on Marley, even though she was right there. I kept seeing someone else in my arms instead.”

“And I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d told Jake to do,” Ryder said. Their synchronized narration was almost spooky, and Blaine had to bob his head around like he was watching a tennis match to look at the person who was speaking. “I kept inserting myself into the scene, too. But Marley wasn’t the person I saw next to me. Actually, I was sitting where Marley should’ve been, if Jake really set it up like the movie.”

“It was him I saw with me,” Jake and Ryder said in unison, pointing at each other.

“Did you rehearse that?” Blaine asked. “Is that what you were doing while I was napping?”

“Is that really your reaction to our news?” Jake asked, glaring at Blaine.

“No, sorry,” Blaine said, shaking his head quickly so it would clear. “That was just a little freaky. Don’t panic about your feelings, guys. Sexuality is fluid, and it’s possible to develop feelings for a person that normally doesn’t fit your orientation. That doesn’t mean you’re suddenly gay.”

Jake looked relieved at Blaine’s statement, but Ryder had more to say.

“So…what do we do now?” he asked, looking from Jake to Blaine and back again.

“That’s up to you guys,” Blaine said, not wanting to control their decision. He bent over to grab his Chem notes off the floor, feeling a little head rush as he straightened up again.  
“Well, I kind of just want to make out with you right now, dude,” Jake said. Blaine’s eyes almost bugged out of their sockets at the sudden twist in events.

“I’m in if you’re in, man,” Ryder said. He lunged out of his chair and began kissing Jake, kneeling in front of his chair for a better angle and wrapping his arms around Jake’s shoulders.

“Isn’t this a little inappropriate, guys?!” Blaine asked, a little horrified at how quickly they went from ‘afraid of their feelings’ to ‘impossibly horny.’ “Couldn’t you have let me leave first, at least?” He scooted out of his chair and around his friends, hoping to leave the room without disturbing them.

“You!” came a shout from the doorway. Blaine turned away from Jake and Ryder, who were now rolling on the floor, to see Brad staring angrily, finger pointing menacingly at Blaine. “Just the little shit I’ve been hoping to find!”

“Wh- _me?_ ” Blaine said, pointing at himself. _Cooper would be proud of all the dramatic acting happening right now,_ he thought, completely out of nowhere.

“Yes, you, you gelheaded little fuck,” Brad said, crossing over to Blaine and staring him dead in the eyes. “You waltz around this choir room, playing my piano and _jumping_ on my piano, and now I’ve finally got you alone to do something about it.” He pulled a knife seemingly out of nowhere and advanced on Blaine. Blaine began to back up, eyes wide and hands in front of him like they’d be enough protection.

“Jake? Ryder?” he called, not taking his eyes off Brad.

“We’re busy, Blaine!” one of them yelled, and for some reason it echoed off the walls. _Blaine…Blaine…_

“Blaine!” Mr. Schue said, and Blaine jumped. The choir room was suddenly full of people again, people who were all staring at him.

“Sorry, Mr. Schue. Couldn’t sleep last night,” Blaine said hastily. He took a deep breath once the attention went back to whatever Mr. Schue was saying. _Oh my God, I’m never sitting in this corner ever again. I’ll sit on Sam’s lap next time if I have to,_ he thought, smoothing a hand over his hair to calm himself down.

As they filed out of the room at the end of the period, Blaine noticed that while Jake was holding hands with Marley, he was practically rubbing shoulders with Ryder as they left, still geeking out over DC comics. Ryder, for his part, never broke eye contact with Jake, even when he almost ran into an open locker right outside the choir room door.

“No. That corner did not just give me a vision that I’m supposed to be some kind of literal Fairy Godfather for two of my best friends,” Blaine said, stopping at his locker. “That sounds like something Brittany would have told me before saying that I also hide my wings really well and is that why I always wear sweaters.”

Blaine shut his locker before he could notice the glint of two glittery, pastel-blue protrusions coming from his back in the little mirror he had inside.


End file.
